On Men
梁實(shí)秋
Liang Shiqiu
張培基 譯
男人令人首先感到的印象是臟！當(dāng)然，男人當(dāng)中亦不乏刷洗干凈潔身自好的，甚至還有油頭粉面衣冠楚楚的，但大體講來(lái)，男人消耗肥皂和水的數(shù)量要比較少些，某一男校，對(duì)于學(xué)生洗澡是強(qiáng)迫的，入浴簽名，每周計(jì)核，對(duì)于不曾入浴的初步懲罰是宣布姓名，最后的斷然處置是定期強(qiáng)迫入浴，并派員監(jiān)視，然而日久玩生，簽名 簿中尚不無(wú)浮冒情事。
What strikes us first of all in men is their uncleanliness. There are of course no lack of men who always make a point of keeping the themselves spick-and-span. And some of them even make up heavily and dress respectably. But, generally speaking, men consume a smaller quantity of soap and water than women. A certain boys’ school make it compulsory for its students to take a bath regularly. Every student had to sign his name before taking a bath so that the school authorities could conduct a weekly checkup. Those who violated the regulation for the first time would have their names published. The drastic measure for those who repeat the offence was to force them to take a bath regularly under surveillance. Nevertheless abuses crept in with time. Forgery was often discovered among the signatures.
有些男人，西裝褲盡管挺直，他的耳后脖根，土壤肥沃，常常宜于種麥！襪子手絹不知隨時(shí)洗滌，常常日積月累，到處塞藏，等到無(wú)可使用 時(shí)，再?gòu)哪且欢盐酃复尕洰?dāng)中揀選比較干凈的去應(yīng)急。有些男人的手絹，拿出來(lái)硬像是士灰面制的百果糕，黑糊糊粘成一團(tuán)，而且內(nèi)容豐富，男人的一雙腳，多半好像是天然的具有泡菜霉干菜再加糖蒜的味道，所謂“濯足萬(wàn)里流”是有道理的，小小的一盆水確是無(wú)濟(jì)于事，然而多少男人卻連這一盆水都吝而不用;怕傷元?dú)?，兩腳既然如此之臟，偏偏有些“逐臭之夫”喜于腳上藏垢納污之處往復(fù)挖掘，然后嗅其手指，引以為樂(lè)！多少男人洗臉都是專洗本部，邊疆一概不理，洗臉完畢，手背可以不濕，有的男人是在結(jié)婚后才什始刷牙。“捫虱而談”的是男人。男人的臟大概是由于懶。
Some men, although they wear smooth-ironed Western style pants, leave much dirt behind their ears and around their necks—so much that it is good enough for growing wheat! Their unwashed socks and handkerchiefs accumulate and are left here and there in unseen corners. When no more clean ones are available, some of the less dirty ones are picked out from the filthy stock to meet an urgent need. Men’ s handkerchiefs, curled up into blackened balls, look like fruit cakes made of whole meal flour and have a very rich content of their own. Men’s feet, for the most part, seen to have a distinctive smell of their own, like that or pickles, dried vegetables and sweetened garlic all mixed together. There is some truth in the saying: “The running water of a long river is good for washing one’s feet. ” Therefore, it goes without saying that a small basin of water will hardly suffice for the same purpose. But lots of men begrudge using even a mere basin of water to wash their feet—perhaps for fear of sapping their vitality and spirit! Dirty as their feet are, some men are so eccentric as to indulge in passing their fingers repeatedly among their stinking toes and then smelling their fingers with gusto. Some men, when they wash up, they concentrate only on the face proper, without touching the rest of the head and without wetting the back of the hand. Some do not brush their teeth until after they get married. The addiction to “chatting while cracking body lice with fingernails” is unique to men only. Probably, men’s uncleanliness is due to their laziness.
對(duì)了！男人懶。他可以懶洋洋坐在旋倚上，五官四肢，連同他的腦筋(假如有)，一概停止活動(dòng)，像呆鳥(niǎo)一般：“不聞夫博奔者乎……”那段話是專對(duì)男人說(shuō)的。他若是上街買東西，很少時(shí)候能令他的妻子滿意，他總是不肯多問(wèn)幾家，怕跑腿，怕費(fèi)話，怕講價(jià)錢。什么事他都嫌麻煩，除了指使別人替他做的事之外。他像殘廢人一樣，對(duì)于什么事都愿坐享其成，而名之曰“室家之樂(lè)”。
Indeed, men are lazy. You will find them lolling in a revolving chair, dumb like a wooden chicken, their five sense organs, their four limbs as well as their brain (if any) all at a complete standstill. What Confucius says all about those who eat their fill all day without doing any work obviously refers to men exclusively. When men go shopping, their wives are seldom satisfied with their purchases because they never bother to shop around never bother to do more walking and talking, never bother to bargain over prices. They hate to be bothered about anything except that which is to be done on their behalf by others. Like disabled persons they will sit idle to enjoy the fruits of other’s labour. And they call all that “domestic bliss”!
緊毗連著“懶”的是“饞”。男人大概有好胃口的居多。他的嘴，用在吃的方面的時(shí)候多，他吃飯時(shí)總要在菜碟里發(fā)現(xiàn)至少一英寸見(jiàn)方半英才厚的肉，才能算是沒(méi)有吃素。幾天不見(jiàn)肉，他就喊“嘴里要淡出鳥(niǎo)兒來(lái)！”有一個(gè)人半年沒(méi)有吃雞，看見(jiàn)了雞毛帚就流涎三尺。一餐盛饌之后，他的人生觀都能改變，對(duì)于什么都樂(lè)觀起 來(lái)。一個(gè)男人在吃一頓好飯的時(shí)候，他臉上的表情硬是在感謝上天待人不薄;他飯后銜著一根牙簽，紅光滿面，硬是覺(jué)得可以驕人。主中饋的是女人，修食譜的是男 人。
Closely linked to men’s laziness is their gluttony. Men mostly have good appetite. Their mouth is most of the time busy eating. They will brand there meal as a vegetarian one unless they can spot in the dishes a piece of meat at least one inch square and half an inch thick. They will complain like hell after a couple of meatless days. Men who have gone half a year without eating chicken will start drooling copiously at the sight of even a feather duster. A sumptuous dinner can change their out look on life and make them sanguine about everything. During a good meal, genuine thankfulness to Heaven for its overflowing bounty will be written all over their faces. After the meal, sporting a toothpick between their teeth, they will be glowing with smug satisfaction. Women do the cooking, men are gourmets.
男人多半自私。他的人生觀中有一基本認(rèn)識(shí)，即宇宙一切均是為了他的舒適而安排下來(lái)的。除了在做事賺錢的時(shí)候不得不忍氣吞聲地向人奴膝婢顏外，他總是要做出 一副老爺相。他的家便是他的國(guó)度，他在家里稱王。他除了為賺錢而吃苦努力外，他是一個(gè)“伊比鳩派”，他要享受。他高興的時(shí)候，孩子可以騎在他的頸上，他引頸受騎，他可以像狗似的滿地爬;他不高興時(shí)，他看著誰(shuí)都不順眼，在外面受了悶氣，回到家里來(lái)加倍地發(fā)作。
Men are mostly self-centered. It is the basic tenet of their philosophy of life that all universe should function to ensure their personal comfort. They always act like overlords except when in working to earn money, they need to behave submissively and servilely towards others. They regard their homes as kingdoms under their rule. They are epicureans obsessed with pleasure-seeking except when they have to toil strenuously for money. When in a cheerful mood, they can crawl about on all fours like dogs with their kids riding on their craned necks. When they are in a bad mood, they seem to find everybody at home an eyesore. When they feel they have been wronged by somebody, they will come home to take it out all on their own folks.
他不知道女人的苦處，女人對(duì)于他的殷勤委曲，在他看來(lái)，就如同犬守戶，雞司晨一樣的稀松平常，都是自然現(xiàn)象。他說(shuō)他愛(ài)女人，其實(shí)他不是愛(ài)，是享受女人。他不問(wèn)他給了別人多少，但是他要在別人身上盡量榨取，他覺(jué)得他對(duì)女人最大的恩惠，便是把賺來(lái)的錢全部或一部拿回家來(lái)，但是當(dāng)他把一卷卷的鈔票從衣袋里掏出來(lái)的時(shí)候，他的臉上的表情是驕做的成分多，親愛(ài)的成分少，好像是在說(shuō)：“看我！你行么！我這樣待你，你多幸運(yùn)！”
They don’t know how hard their wives suffer. They take their wife’s tender care and submissiveness for granted and regard them as something very commonplace, like dogs guarding their homes and cocks crowing to herald the break of day. Instead of truly loving their wives as they claim, they simply make use of them. They try to squeeze as much as possible out of others without ever stopping to think how much they themselves have given. They think it is their greatest favour to their wives to bring back all or part of the money they have earned. But, when they produce from their pockets rolls of banknotes, their faces reveal more pride than love, as if saying, “look at me !Can you be as smart as I am I’m treating you so well. How lucky you are!”
他若是感覺(jué)到這家不復(fù)是他的樂(lè)園，他便有多樣的借口不回到家里來(lái)。他到處云游，他另辟樂(lè)園。他有聚餐會(huì)，他有酒會(huì)，他有橋會(huì)，他有書(shū)會(huì)畫(huà)會(huì)棋會(huì)，他有夜會(huì)，最不濟(jì)的還有個(gè)茶館，他的享樂(lè)的方法太多，假如輪回之說(shuō)不假，下世僥幸依然投胎為人， 很少男人情感下世做女人的，他總覺(jué)得這一世生為男身，而享受未足，下一世要繼續(xù)努力。
When they think their homes are no longer their paradises, they invent many excuses for staying away. They will go here and there to seek new paradise: dinner parties, cocktail parties, painting and calligraphy exhibitions, chess games or night clubs. Failing all of them, they can at least find a tea house to while away their time. They have many ways to enjoy themselves. If transmigration were true so that they could be lucky enough to be reincarnated as humans, few of them would choose to be women in their next life. They would invariably feel they had not enjoyed enough as males in this life and therefore had to make up for it after they were reborn.
“群居終日，言不及義”，原是人的通病，但是言談的內(nèi)容卻是男女有別。女人談的往往是：“我們家的小妹又病了！”“你們家每月開(kāi)銷多少？”之類。男人的是 另一套，普通的方式，男人的談話，最后不談到女人身上便不會(huì)散場(chǎng)。這一個(gè)題目對(duì)男人最有興味。如果有一個(gè)桃色案他們唯恐其和解得太快。他們好議論人家的陰私，好批評(píng)別人的妻子的性格相貌?！伴L(zhǎng)舌男”是到處有的，不知為什么這名詞尚不甚流行。
It is a common failing among human beings to engage in idle gossip. But men’s gossip is generally different from that of women in content. The topics of women’s chitchat are often like these: “Our little daughter is ill again!”, “What are your family expenses like?”. Men, however, are different in their own way. They, as a rule, will never call it a day until their conversation has covered something about women. Women constitute the most intriguing topic of men’s conversation. When a legal case involving a sex scandal crops up, they desire to see it go on infinitely. They take pleasure in gossiping about other people’s private life and commenting on the character and appearance of other people’s wives. Gossip men, known as “long-tongued men”, are found everywhere although the epithet is somehow none too popular yet.
]]>何謂美女？世人多強(qiáng)調(diào)容貌；何謂完美的女人？老夫堅(jiān)持認(rèn)為，女人之美重在氣質(zhì)。
氣質(zhì)二字頗妙。質(zhì)是體質(zhì)、性質(zhì)、本質(zhì)，多賴先天的稟賦。氣是質(zhì)的靈魂、統(tǒng)帥、光華，多是后天涵養(yǎng)的結(jié)果。就我而言，我更看重氣質(zhì)中的“氣”字，完美的女人要有五氣。
一曰：秀氣。有秀氣的女人，她身形也許嬌小，也許修拔，但你總能發(fā)現(xiàn)其靈秀之氣。秀氣可以涵養(yǎng)于清澈的雙眸之中，流溢于明凈的眉宇之間；也可以表現(xiàn)為靈巧的舞蹈，婉轉(zhuǎn)的歌聲，娟秀的字跡，精巧的手工作品。秀氣其實(shí)是“才氣”，才氣在女人即成秀氣，也即是巧。女人不巧不秀，不足以成為頂級(jí)的美女。
二曰：和氣。和氣的女人給人的感覺(jué)是溫婉。她隨和，她體貼，她時(shí)時(shí)處處在關(guān)心別人，她的和氣施之于丈夫、兒女、老人，也施之于朋友、鄰居、同事乃至陌生人，乃至一切有生命的活物。別人的苦楚她用心去體察，別人的快樂(lè)能使她由衷地欣慰。對(duì)別人的缺點(diǎn)、生活的煩難，她特別能寬容能忍耐。女人的和氣是生養(yǎng)之氣，有了和氣，萬(wàn)物化生，家庭和睦，社會(huì)安寧，人生才有溫暖和光明。和氣生于善良，其根是仁。和氣善良是女人的根本，女人不和氣不善良，不足以稱為好女人。
三曰：喜氣。喜氣的女人渾身充盈著快樂(lè)的細(xì)胞。她的生活也許富足也許貧窮，她總有比別人多的笑容和笑聲，她不允許自己長(zhǎng)時(shí)間憂心忡忡，即使在艱難困境中，她也能創(chuàng)造生活的樂(lè)趣。她是生活的智者，世界雖布滿荊棘時(shí)有黑暗，她的眼睛卻總能發(fā)現(xiàn)鮮花和光明。女人沒(méi)有喜氣，她的美麗會(huì)受到很大的傷害，難得更美的境界。
四曰：正氣。有正氣的女人，行為端莊，不事張揚(yáng)，對(duì)善惡是非有自己的見(jiàn)解，而且敢于堅(jiān)持。正氣其實(shí)是在社會(huì)立身處事中養(yǎng)成的，在眾人面前不撒潑賣野，也不撒嬌發(fā)嗲，嘩眾取寵。也就是說(shuō)，她分得清公和私，在公眾場(chǎng)所她懂得自重。
五曰：大氣。這個(gè)于女人最為難得。一般女人的常偏于?。荷罘秶?、眼界、心胸。所以，小心眼兒，小家子氣常常是女人很難避免的缺陷，甚至有的男人還對(duì)此有偏愛(ài)，覺(jué)得是小鳥(niǎo)依人；女人也對(duì)此安之若素，覺(jué)得理所當(dāng)然。殊不知，正是這小氣限制了女人的境界束縛了女人的空間。所以，有大氣的女人才更顯得可貴。她站得高，精神上與男人并立；看得遠(yuǎn)，處事時(shí)可與男人參謀甚至給男人指導(dǎo)。大氣既來(lái)天生的秀氣更得益于人生的閱歷和磨練。
五氣之中，女人能得其一， 都不失可愛(ài)，可以算是好女人。擁有的越多，自然也就越美。如果，五氣具備，那就是難得的完美女人。有這樣的美女在前，她的魅力會(huì)把我徹底擊潰，讓我心搖神蕩，玉山傾折石榴裙。她秀氣迷人，和氣暖人，喜氣悅?cè)耍?a href="http://www.51zclw.cn/archives/tag/%e6%ad%a3%e6%b0%94" title="【查看含有[正氣]標(biāo)簽的文章】" target="_blank">正氣安人，大氣容人，叫我如何不愛(ài)她！
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輕靈秀美彌足珍，和善端莊大有容。
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]]>圖/源于網(wǎng)絡(luò)
我是葉飛飛yff，一個(gè)非著名情感導(dǎo)師，寫(xiě)走心的情感文字，希望用有溫度的文字，給你帶來(lái)一些心靈上的慰藉。
女人對(duì)于自己不喜歡的男人，向來(lái)沒(méi)有多少好感，警惕性非常強(qiáng)。
在跟你交往時(shí)，她會(huì)時(shí)刻提防你，不會(huì)讓你接近她，對(duì)你會(huì)保持很大的距離。
雖然，女人嘴上沒(méi)有拒絕你，但她對(duì)你的態(tài)度，以及在你面前表現(xiàn)出來(lái)的舉動(dòng)，早已暗示讓你離開(kāi)。
不喜歡你的女人，不想被你糾纏打擾，更不允許你纏著她，對(duì)你不會(huì)有一絲信任。
最常見(jiàn)的表現(xiàn)，就體現(xiàn)聊天的時(shí)候，當(dāng)女人不想和你發(fā)展關(guān)系時(shí)，她基本上不會(huì)和你有太多的來(lái)往。
而且，她會(huì)用一些特定的稱呼，來(lái)表明拒絕你的意思，希望你能察覺(jué)她的心思，然后知難而退。
其實(shí)，女人對(duì)你的稱呼，也就體現(xiàn)了你在她心里的地位，愛(ài)與不愛(ài)非常明顯。
一般來(lái)說(shuō)，聊天時(shí)，女人喊你以下三個(gè)“稱呼”，多半是拒絕你的意思，男人沒(méi)有必要糾纏。
一、“渣男”：說(shuō)明她真的很討厭你
在聊天時(shí)，如果女人喊你渣男，說(shuō)明她對(duì)你沒(méi)有好感，心里很討厭你。
這時(shí)，你說(shuō)什么話，她都不想聽(tīng)，不管你發(fā)什么樣的消息，她都不想回。
如果你繼續(xù)糾纏她，可能會(huì)讓她更加排斥你，于是，她回復(fù)你一句“渣男”，希望讓你離開(kāi)。
現(xiàn)實(shí)中，有些男人臉皮太厚，也不懂得女人的意思，還繼續(xù)對(duì)她糾纏不休，最后弄得女人刪除拉黑你，這是非常遺憾的。
當(dāng)女人徹底和你劃清界限，就意味著以后也不想和你交往，就連做普通朋友也不愿意。
說(shuō)到底，女人喊你“渣男”，就是對(duì)你沒(méi)有信任，覺(jué)得你對(duì)感情不真誠(chéng)，她不敢輕易和你交往。
在她眼里，你可能人品不怎么好，對(duì)感情隨便，比較花心，她對(duì)你敬而遠(yuǎn)之，以免將來(lái)受到傷害。
二、“帶有缺陷的綽號(hào)”：故意刺激你離開(kāi)
和女人交往，如果她給你取一些帶有缺陷的綽號(hào)名，說(shuō)明是她故意刺激你，希望你早點(diǎn)離開(kāi)。
比如，她會(huì)喊你“木頭”、“笨蛋”、“大肥豬”、“小四眼”，等等。
這些名稱，可能會(huì)體現(xiàn)出你的某些缺陷，她卻一遍遍喊你，無(wú)非就是不想和你交往，故意惹你生氣，然后不再糾纏她。
這樣的女人，心里根本就不喜歡你，對(duì)你也沒(méi)有好感，看到你就不高興。
因此，每當(dāng)聊天時(shí)，她都不想理你，但又不好直接拒絕你，于是就用這些稱呼來(lái)刺激你。
如果你生氣了，不再給她發(fā)消息，不來(lái)找她了，她反而會(huì)很開(kāi)心，心想終于擺脫你了。
如果你繼續(xù)糾纏，并不在意這些稱呼，她可能會(huì)取一些更加難聽(tīng)的名字，以此來(lái)刺激你，希望你不要對(duì)她死纏亂打。
所以，男人遇到這種女人，就不要抱太大的希望，她拒絕跟你交往，你沒(méi)有必要卑微討好，不如忍痛放下，去尋找真正對(duì)的人。
三、直呼你的全名：說(shuō)明她只是把你當(dāng)成普通朋友
和女人聊天時(shí)，如果她直呼你的全名，說(shuō)明她只是把你當(dāng)成普通朋友，并不想和你進(jìn)一步發(fā)展。
在她心里，你跟別人沒(méi)什么不同，她也不想深入了解你，懶得費(fèi)時(shí)間。
因?yàn)?，她根本就不喜歡你，能跟你保持普通關(guān)系，已經(jīng)是她最大的底線了。
因此，不管你如何取悅她，可能都不會(huì)讓她感動(dòng)，她看不到你的好，自然不會(huì)對(duì)你刮目相看。
如果你對(duì)她表達(dá)出喜歡的意思，可能會(huì)讓她很生氣，甚至不想繼續(xù)跟你交往了，會(huì)有意和你疏離。
事實(shí)上，女人不想和你發(fā)展關(guān)系，她就不會(huì)關(guān)注你，對(duì)你的一切都會(huì)很無(wú)視。
就算兩個(gè)人在一起，她也沒(méi)有任何感覺(jué)，除了正常的工作交往以外，她不想在你身上浪費(fèi)時(shí)間和精力。
在空閑的時(shí)間里，她寧可一個(gè)人待在家里，也不想和你說(shuō)話，看到你的消息，表現(xiàn)得無(wú)動(dòng)于衷。
如果你持續(xù)不斷地給她發(fā)消息，可能還會(huì)惹她生氣，說(shuō)不定會(huì)屏蔽你。
她雖然可以和你保持普通關(guān)系，但絕不允許你來(lái)追求她，對(duì)你不會(huì)有任何感覺(jué)，距離感很強(qiáng)。
所以，男人遇到這種女人，就不要糾纏不休，不如體面地離開(kāi)，或許能給她留下一些好感，至少兩個(gè)人還能見(jiàn)面，讓她高看你一眼。
葉飛飛yff情感寄語(yǔ)：
總結(jié)來(lái)說(shuō)，女人喊你這三個(gè)“稱呼”，多半是拒絕你的意思。
“渣男”：說(shuō)明她真的很討厭你；“帶有缺陷的綽號(hào)”：故意刺激你離開(kāi)；直呼你的全名：說(shuō)明她只是把你當(dāng)成普通朋友。
愛(ài)情，講究?jī)汕橄鄲?，如果女人不想跟你交往，你就不要勉?qiáng)。
畢竟，強(qiáng)求得來(lái)的愛(ài)情，不可能長(zhǎng)久，彼此不同心，關(guān)系很容易崩塌。
和女人交往，如果她這樣稱呼你，說(shuō)明對(duì)你沒(méi)有好感，話語(yǔ)里已經(jīng)拒絕你了。
這時(shí)，你沒(méi)有必要糾纏，不如灑脫一點(diǎn)離開(kāi)，放下不值得的感情，才能遇見(jiàn)真正的愛(ài)情。
希望男人有所感悟，別耽誤自己，當(dāng)你轉(zhuǎn)身以后，相信總有一個(gè)人會(huì)出現(xiàn)，等待和你共赴愛(ài)河。
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]]>作者：葉飛飛yff，專注情感領(lǐng)域創(chuàng)作與分享，用情感溝通你我的心靈，惟愿你我在此相識(shí)相知，喜歡就請(qǐng)關(guān)注我吧。